Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Guess Whose Feet These Are

Congratulations to LA! Poor Brit has been cursed with cankles even when she was skinny.

Why Can't This Be Permanent?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Personal Rant

I am so glad last week is over and done with. My brother turned 21 last week and my mom thought it would be a good idea to throw him a big birthday bash with lots of alcohol. To make matters worse she invited a few relatives that she does not get along with. I knew right from the start that the party was going to turn sour real quick, so I tried to weasel my way out of going but my mom was prepared for this. All week long she played a massive guilt trip on me until I reluctantly agreed to show up.

The day of the party arrives and I show up about an hour late. I am surprised to see most of my family is already there and drunk. My mother’s sister (my aunt) who she does not get along with very well was the first one to greet me.

“Missy your late to your own brother’s party” she says with a condescending tone. Most of my family calls me Missy its short for Miss-know-it-all.
Her daughters (my cousins) chime in “I can’t believe school is more important than your own brother’s 21st birthday party” It is more important but I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of arguing so I politely excuse myself and walk away. I can hear them whispering about me behind my back but I don’t want to make the mistake of confronting them again.

Last year at another family party my cousin said something real catty about me loud enough for me and a few of my relatives to overhear. I was in a pissy mood so I decided to confront her about the remark she made in front of everyone who over heard it but to my surprise she denied ever saying anything bad about me and my relatives who overheard her backed her up completely. I know what I heard and I now know that it is useless to directly confront people who are passive-aggressive, it gets you nowhere.

My mother was not too thrilled that I showed up late but she was glad that I did come to the party. I asked her where my brother was so I could say Happy Birthday to him in person but she could not find him. A few minutes later I found him in the garage drinking with a few of his friends I could tell he was not enjoying this family get-together at all. Since we are all close in age I get along with my brother and his friends very well.

About thirty minutes later my mom barges in and pesters all of us for not being ‘social’. She then announces that everyone wants to sing happy birthday and cut the cake. I brace myself for another round badgering from my aunt and cousins. They are all pretty drunk now and tensions are high.

Things go pretty smoothly until we start singing happy birthday. Right in the middle of the song my aunt starts bawling for no apparent reason. Everyone stops singing and looks at her dumbfounded. She finally manages to blurt out one single word “Joey”

Joey was her youngest child, he was her only son and the pride and joy of her life. He died two years ago in Iraq. It was a real shock to everyone when he died, everyone misses him and the pain is still raw but I can’t help to think she wants some sort of sympathy fix. After all my aunt is a dramatic person and she loves to be the center of attention.

“Why can’t God kill me now, I have nothing left to live for” she says.
I feel kind of embarrassed and sad for my cousins who are standing right next to her but they don’t seem bothered by this. Everyone goes and tries to comfort my aunt the best they can but she only calms down when someone hands her another drink. I make a note to myself to leave pretty soon before this party gets any uglier.

We cut the cake and the tensions seem to subside. “Can you believe the nut jobs we have in our family.” My sister whispers in my ear. I am so surprised she said this that I just start laughing uncontrollably. I know what she said was not nice but I just can’t help myself. I fail to realize at this point everyone is looking at me.

“What is so funny?” my mother asks.
“Nothing.” My sister and I say in unison.
Its funny how when my other relatives talk bad about us no one says anything but if my sister or I say one little crack about our family everyone jumps down our throats.

Ten minutes later I decide to leave and I say goodbye to my brother and sister. When I try to say goodbye to my mother she berates me with a thousand questions.
“Why are you leaving so soon?”
“Where are you going?”
“What is more important than your brother’s birthday?”

As usual I am the last to arrive and the first to leave. Dealing with my family is emotionally draining and sometimes I just prefer to distance myself from them. For the most part they are good people but their dysfunctional lives creates a toxic environment.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

What's Your Real Birthday Month?

Loves reality
Loves freedom
Low self esteem
Honest and loyal
Abstract thoughts
Daring and stubborn
Changing personality
Showing anger easily
Intelligent and clever
Loves aggressiveness
Quiet, shy and humble
Learns to show emotions
Rebellious when restricted
Determined to reach goals
Superstitious and ludicrous
Dislikes unnecessary things
Realizing dreams and hopes
Too sensitive and easily hurt
Loves entertainment and leisure
Romantic on the inside not outside
Loves making friends but rarely shows it
What's your true birthday month?

Mouth Quiz

What People Think of Your Mouth
People see you both as mysterious and exotic.
You definitely have cultivated your own unique interests and lifestyle.
Brainy and quick witted, you aren't one for superficial friendships.
But if someone can make you laugh or think, they'll likely be your friend for life.
What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Talk About Tacky

Someone needs to teach Britney how to take pictures.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Which Pretty Actress Has This Ugly Foot?

Congratulations to Mishy for ruining my guessing game. Just kidding Mish thanks for giving me a heads up. Next time I'll know better.

Jessica Barks

Ok the sign is photoshopped but Jessica is still a dog.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

10 Jobs That Pay 100,000 A Year

Forbes has compiled a list of ten surprising jobs
that can pay you $100,000 a year.

Court reporter: Must be able to type 200 wpm. I can type 70 on a good day.

Professional (life or career) coach: Business or life coaches try to provide a confidence for struggling entrepreneurs or aspiring novelists. If you have to pay someone for confidence whats the point?

Mine manager: No advanced degree required but must be able to plan out procedures for mining projects, includes setting budgets and enforcing deadlines. Sounds boring and stressful.

Salesperson: Nothing was really mentioned on what kind products you must sell in order to earn 100,000 a year but I suspect drugs.

Truck driver: I have enough trouble driving my own car.

Pressman: Must be able to operates a printing press. I would probably fall asleep.

Technical writer: Must have a degree in English or technical writing. Sounds awfully boring.

Restaurant manager: Specific duties vary but most include the purchase of food and equipment, menu planning with the chef, and inspection of safety and health precautions. Not my cup of tea.

Air traffic controller: Must undergo rigid physical and psychological tests and have excellent vision, hearing, and speaking skills. I like to daydream a lot so I doubt I'd be qualified for this job.

Elementary school principal: All three of my school principles have had a stroke or heart attack while working. Coincidence I think not.

Monday, August 21, 2006

What Time Of Day Are You?

You Are Midnight
You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.
What Time Of Day Are You?


Come on guys am I the only one who thinks Maggie Gyllenhaal looks stunning in this picture?

WTF Is Pink Wearing?

Friday, August 18, 2006

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 29 Years Old

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

Miracle or Madness?

Workers at a Califronia chocolate company have something new to celebrate, they claim this 2-inch column of chocolate drippings bears a remarkable likeness to the Virgin Mary. Prayer vigils are being held at the company and some people are even going so far as to claim this is a sign from God. I honestly don't see the resemblance and as far as I can tell all this is doing is making a mockery out of the Catholic religion. Honestly people do you think if God was going to show us a sign he would pick a chocolate figurine to do it with?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Truth Will Set You Free Tom

Off With Her Head

Kristen Dunst does a great job portraying one of the most hated queens that ever lived. Truly this part was meant for her. I can't wait to see this movie I hope it has a gory guillotine scene!

How Many Disease Are There Between Them?

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Five Random Facts

From puberty through my late teenage years I was a painfully shy, gawky girl who had a hard time fitting in. I had three really close friends, two of which where gay (which is a mortal sin here in Texas, sometimes punishable by death) consequently I was known as the schools biggest ‘fag-hag’ and was teased mercilessly for it.

I was the nerdy/artsy girl who never spoke a word during class and got good grades but spent most of the class time doodling. However I failed 9th grade art because I did not want to do a major Paper-Mache project the way my art teacher instructed me too. I am a stubborn Taurus.

I am really clumsy. I have broken my ankle twice, once in front a school bus full of naughty children who were pointing and laughing at me as I fell. I will probably kill myself if I ever manage to wear high heels for an extended period of time.

I enjoy reading, watching or hearing scary stories but I am a big wuss. Most of the time I have to sleep with a nightlight on just to get a descent night sleep.

I am the first member of my immediate family to go to college. Amongst my extended family I am the youngest person to have a college degree. I am currently getting my Bachelors in psychology but I have a minor (Associates) in Social Work. However this is a sore spot for some members of my family. They see me as a little miss know-it-all who thinks she is too good for her family and on certain occasions I am.

Friday, August 11, 2006

What Your Face Says

What Your Face Says
At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.
What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Sleeping Position Quiz

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front. Shy and private, you yearn for security. You take relationships slowly. You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You May Be a Bit Borderline...
Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!
What Personality Disorder Are You?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

An Odd Encounter

All my life I have been told that I looked or acted very mature for my age. I always took this as a compliment and whenever I went out to buy beer or cigarettes I was never really carded. That is until yesterday when I went to my local grocery store to buy beer. When I went up to pay the clerk was looking at me suspiciously.

“Can I see some ID” he said sternly as if to scare me.

I obliged and showed him my Texas ID.

“Am I supposed to believe that is you? “ he said sarcastically.

“Yeah” I responded just as sarcastically.

Sensing that I was not going to go anywhere he then asked to see my Drivers License.
Not wanting to make a big scene I took out my license and showed it to him.

“Yeah this does not look anything like you. You don’t look a day over 18. This is probably your big sisters ID isn’t it?”

I do have a big sister who looks nothing like me but for the sake of argument I responded by saying I did not have an older sister and I demanded to speak to his manager. I had no idea what I was going to say to his manager if he also believed that I was underage. However my little threat seemed to work.

“Okay kid I am going to sell you the beer. You don’t look 21 but you seem responsible.”

“Sure. Whatever.” I said
After I finished paying he smiled and said “Now you come back now you hear.”

Only when you are not around I said under my breath and left.

Now that I am getting older I am left wondering whether being mistaken for looking younger is really a compliment or not. What do you guys think has anything like this ever happened to you?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Joke of the Day

Paris Hilton admitted in a GQ interview that she has only had sex with two men in her whole life!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Movie Recomendation: The Machinist

Although not intended this film makes a great horror movie. The Machinist takes you inside the mind of a very disturb individual. This film is really graphic and rumor has it that Christian Bale nearly died while making it because he had to starve himself, living off of only two apples a day in order to play the demented Trevor Rezink.

The movie revolves around Trevor an insomniac who has not slept properly in over a year. This severe lack off sleep is messing with his brain causing him to have horrible hallucinations and to become extremly paranoid.

Trevor lives a bleak life but what is even more troubling is the pain you see Trevor go through when he struggles to perform everyday tasks. Its almost as if in any second Trevor will drop dead from malnutrition.

Although the ending solves the mystery of what is causing Trevor's sleepless nights, it does not quite deliever. It is as if Trevor went through all his pain for nothing. If anything I recommend this movie because it shows an actor who is so committed to his craft that he was willing to undergo hell in order to play a role in a movie that is mediocore at best.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Guess Who This Is

You guessed it Ffluer! Click here to Find out who it is.

Friday, August 04, 2006

What's Your Personality Type?

You Are An INFP
The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
What's Your Personality Type?

How Selfish Are You?

You Are 42% Selfish
You are quite balanced. You are able to compromise when it's in the best interests of those involved. But you're no pushover. If something is important to you, you'll get it!
How Selfish Are You?

What Degree Should You Get?

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)
You're a great thinker and a true philosopher.
You'd make a talented professor or writer.
What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Is That Jessica or Asslee?

Jessica Simpson looks awful as she shows off her body for the next edition of OK magazine. If she would just stop making that horse face and stop talking for good she would be a lot more tolerable.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

My New Favorite Show

The Best of Season 1

Funny Preview

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My New Crush: Adrien Brody

Was born on April 14th, 1973

Has been compared to Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino for his unconventional acting skills and unique looks.

In 2003, at the age of 29, he replaced Richard Dreyfuss as the youngest actor ever to win the Best Actor Academy Award, for his role in "The Pianist".

He was furious when his nose was broken during the final fight in "Summer of Sam", but when he had it fixed, he didn't change it. That nose is now Brody's most identifying feature and sets him apart from other actors.